“You’re such a girl” – The impact of normative discourse
By: Anisha Akhtar, WEC Marketing Coordinator
“You’re such a girl.” What does this phrase really mean? If you’ve ever heard it, chances are it was used in a negative context; either to insult or to humiliate. It is usually used when someone is not being strong, tough, logical, intellectual or analytical enough. In turn, these contexts imply that all girls (some don’t, much like some boys don’t) do not possess any of these traits.
We may hear our friends, colleagues, or peers use this phrase, and when questioned claim it is meant just as a joke – not meant to hurt anyone or to imply any anti-feminine sentiments. Instead we are told that we are over-analyzing and are making overly critical observations. That is exactly the point here. Phrases like these are being used in our everyday conversations without any realization of their roots or consequences.
“You throw like a girl”, “That’s so gay”, and “That’s so retarded” are just some examples of our unintentional cruelty and accidental ism’s. Discriminatory language like this and non-stop repetition of it leads to the creation and engraving of prejudice and stereotypes on our minds.
Let me explain. You see a chatty cute guy wearing a pink shirt, hair did, everything did, and maybe he even has some glitter on. You whisper to your friend in a disheartened voice “he’s probably gay”. Now, what just happened here? You assumed that this individual is homosexual because they don’t exhibit the typical “masculine” traits or worse yet, they appear to be too “feminine”. They care too much about their looks (implicit: superficial), they talk too much (implicit: expressive/emotional), they’re too “girly” (implicit: all the aforementioned implicit traits are for girls).
This is bad. Not just for girls, but others too. For instance, if being emotional is a trait affiliated only with girls, it takes its toll on the men too. They feel uncomfortable with expressing their emotions due to the fear of being called a girl, which of course is the most humiliating thing that anyone can say to someone. They can also feel restricted in the ways they can express themselves; that includes the way they dress, talk and their not-so-masculine hobbies or passions.
Now, the next time you (it’s okay, we don’t judge) or someone else calls someone a girl to insult them, think about Marie Curie, Aretha Franklin, Serena Williams, Nancy Greene and Oprah Winfrey among some other super cool, butt-kicking awesome girls. So, STOP hating the g-word so much! Take it as a compliment, use it as a compliment.
In short, watch your everyday language reader!